About Ryan B. Ingram

Husband. Father. Pastor. www.awakeningchurch.com

God placed greatness in you.  

“You are an unceasing spiritual being with an eternal destiny in God’s great universe.”

Dallas Willard

It is easy to look around and see greatness in others.  So in so is great at business or leadership. They are smart, good-looking, funny, successful. Their kids are perfect! They are so great with people and friendships.  Aren’t they just so great?!

Yet when we look inside ourselves it can feel like greatness skipped a generation.   We can see the potential in others – how gifted they are; how much they could accomplish if they put the work in.   However, we tend to overlook the incredible potential God has deposited in us.

“For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:13-14

There is more in you than you think is in you.

Your life is like a seed.  Locked inside an acorn is everything necessary to create a mighty oak tree.  Oak trees can endure the harshest storms with strong branches to bring shade and refuge to those around.  A little acorn has tremendous potential. It is small and unassuming, from the outside you would think nothing of it. Squirrels make the mistake of thinking they are only good for a late afternoon snack.   Yet a little acorn has the potential to become a mighty oak tree.

God placed greatness in you.

Deposited inside of you are extraordinary gifts and talents; creativity and intellect, energy and dreams.  All just waiting to be cultivated, to be developed, to be unleashed.

Your life is precious.  Your life matters. You bring to this planet what no one else brings.  Your best days are not behind you, but before you. You have not peaked.  And your past failures are not final or fatal. Never settle for less than God’s best.  Do not resign yourself to a mediocre or average, because God has placed greatness in you.  

And the question before you, each and every day is:

What will you do with what God gave you?

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The Parable of Two Farmers

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In the Christmas season we often are consumed with giving gifts that are quickly forgotten.  What if, instead, you could invest your time, energy and money in a way that would have a lasting impact?

The Parable of Two Farmers

There once were two farmers whose farms were right next to each other’s. And each of them started out with one bushel of grain.

The 1st Farmer saw that the grain would make great cakes, pastries and bread. He loved homemade bread. So he thought to himself, “Why would I put all this in the ground? I’ll plant as little as possible and enjoy the rest.”

And so on his farm he planted one row of grain and enjoyed wonderful pastries, cakes and bread.

The 2nd Farmer looked at his bushel of grain and thought, “If I live on as little as possible and plant the rest, this time next year I’ll have a bountiful harvest to enjoy and plenty to plant for the following year.

And so while the 1st Farmer was enjoying fine pastries and homemade bread, the 2nd Farmer made little flat breads and often went without as he worked the field. Instead of 1 row, the 2nd Farmer planted 50 rows of grain.

Months went by and the 1st Farmer thought he had it made, as he relaxed, ate and watched the 2nd Farmer work, toil and eat his small flat bread.

Then one day, it was finally harvest time. The farmers took a look at their fields and began to gather their crop.

The 1st Farmer one row yielded a crop but it wasn’t nearly as much as he wanted. In fact when he gathered it all together it was a little less than a bushel full. He had less than he started with the previous year.

The 2nd Farmer went out to harvest his field and the return was bigger than he could have dreamed. He started out with 1 bushel of grain and after harvesting his 50 rows; he now had 40 bushels of grain. He now needed more land to plant his crops and ask the 1st Farmer if he would be willing to sell.

The 1st Farmer was mad at the 2nd Farmers good fortune, called him lucky and couldn’t believe how unfair God had been. “Why did God bless him more than me?” He said.

“My friend,” the 2nd Farmer said, “The answer is simply found in the law of the harvest.

THE LAW OF THE HARVEST:

Principle:  We REAP what we SOW.

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.  Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:6-8

1. We reap in PROPORTION to what we sow.

2. We always reap the SAME in KIND that we sowed.

3. We never reap in the same SEASON that we sow.

 

What are you sowing today?   Where are you sowing?

What are you hoping to reap this next year?  

My Election Reflection [please please read]

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On Wednesday morning America woke to perhaps the greatest upset in political history.   Today, we have a deeply divided country that is venting and attacking one another on social media.   Honestly I am heart broken by what I see online, especially by those who claim the name of Jesus.   It seems silly to me that I even need to write this post. But in light of how Jesus followers are responding, I am compelled to give a brief election reflection that I pray will give us some perspective.

The morning after the election I sat my 3 amazing kids down before school [ages 12, 9, and 6]. I saw this as a critical moment to teach them how followers of Jesus are to respond.

Here’s what I said:

If you do not have anything good to say…

Today at school your friends are going to be saying all kinds of things about the election. Do not get caught up in it. Do not get pulled down to speaking negatively, making fun or saying mean things.

Remember if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all.

It is not about whether you agree or disagree, it is about honoring others with our words. We need to bite our tongue instead of using biting words. Social media is not the place to vent, emote or attack.  

Before you post take a deep breath, pray and ask: will this be helpful or harmful?

 

We are called to pray for our political leaders.

Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Funny side note: At this point my youngest raised his hand and ask, “How can we pray for people if were dead?” He thought persecuted meant that you were killed. So we clarified what it meant to be persecuted.

Now back to the main point, Jesus was absolutely clear:

We are to love those we consider an enemy and pray for those who are mistreating us.

The Apostle Paul commands us to pray for our political leaders. At that time he’s writing the church was under Roman oppression and persecution. And he is saying, pray for the leaders who are oppressing you. And so no matter how you feel about Mr. Trump, even if you would consider him an enemy, we are called to pray for him. I am praying that he has a life-changing encounter with Jesus. I’m praying that God gives him wisdom and discernment.

Even though our political leaders change; God never changes.

The good news is that God is still in control.

He is not surprised. He is not caught off guard. Nothing can thwart His plan. Though our president is changing and there is uncertainty in our nation, the true King is still enthroned and reigning. That morning I opened my Bible to Hebrews chapter 13 verse 8 where it says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Followers of Jesus should not be bent out of shape or freaking out.

Our hope is not in a government, a president or a political system.

Our hope is in Jesus.

And so yes our country is changing but God has not changed. We can face the future with confidence because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.

We have an unshakable hope because we have an unchanging sovereign God.

 

It was now just about time for my kids to head off to school. But before they did, I ask each of them to pray for Mr. Trump and our country. We went around with each one of them praying starting with the youngest and then I closed out our time. How precious it was to hear my kids pray for our country and praying for Mr. Trump’s salvation.

My dear friends this is how we are called to respond in light of the recent election.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the shadow of shame

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As a college student going to school to study the Bible, I was struggling with pornography. Porn had a powerful hold over my life.  There was an internal war raging and guilt flowed through my veins.  I had tried countless times to be free of this addiction, yet time and time again I came crawling back to the altar of my computer.

Failure soon became my identity. It wasn’t that I failed but now I was a failure. Failure is who I am. I began to believe this is who I am and I will never change. I was broken, hiding—shame had become my companion.

Shame is powerful.

Shame says that you are what you did. It’s not that you failed or you made a mistake. Shame says you are a failure; you are a mistake. Shame finds its power in the silence, in the absence of community and our destructive self-talk.

In that college dorm room trying earnestly to pursue God, I was living in the shadow of shame. It tainted how I saw life. It tainted how I thought God saw me.

I remember one particularly dark moment of shame. Shame was whispering in my ear, you are a failure, you’ll never change, it is not worth going on. And an insidious thought ran through my head to end the misery, the world would be better without me. That really scared me.

The deep work of the Christian life is rejecting our perceived identity and embracing God’s imputed identity.  

This is spiritual formation. As a follower of Jesus, our identity is not based on what we have done or even what has been done to us. It is based solely on what Jesus has done for us. Our identity is not based on WHO we are but on WHOSE we are.

I remember the turning point for me. One night in my dorm room, I had a dream. The room was dark; the only light came from the blue hue of my laptop. Sitting at my desk looking at the computer was the 8 year-old version of me, scrawny, blonde, innocent boy.

My heart broke for that little boy. “Don’t look at that junk! Don’t get stuck!”

It was in that moment that I first saw how God saw me. He did not see a failure, He saw His kid that He loves. He was not made or angry. His heart broke for me.

The truth is, I am His kid. I do not live in the shadow of shame. I dwell in the shadow of the Son He loves. My identity is secure, fully loved, completely forgiven, absolutely delighted in by my heavenly Father. And that changes everything!  That was the beginning for me to experience freedom from my addiction.

There is this incredible Psalm that I memorized in college, Psalm 15. In it David asks, “Who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?” One of the things David says about those who live in the shadow of the almighty is that they, “speak truth in their heart.” I love that.

My friend Kevin Queen says, “If another person talked to you the way you talk to you, you’d file a restraining order. Replace those lies with truth.”

Pay attention to the self-talk. Is it true of what God says is true of you?

No matter what shame says, you do not have to live in the shadow of shame. You are God’s kid. He loves you more than you could ever know. He’s not down on you. You already dwell in the shadow of the Son He loves.

Start telling yourself the truth.

4 Things I Would Do Differently [if I could go back and do it all over again]

 

12112297_10156236155730096_683073515495586608_n-copyA couple of Sunday’s ago we celebrated our 4th birthday as a church. 4 years ago we stepped out to start Awakening Church to reach this generation.

I can still remember the butterflies I felt our very first service.

A couple years into planting Awakening I started a list of what I would do differently if I could do it all over again. Many of the lessons I was learning, I was learning the hard way.  I wanted to make sure that I did not miss the lessons God was teaching me or repeat the same mistakes.

I thought I’d share 4  lessons I learned over the past 4 years. These have deeply shaped my life, my leadership and as a result our church.

  1. Really listen to those who are older and wiser.

When we set out to start Awakening Church there was an older gentlemen by the name of Ken Dean. He is a wise sage known as Father Dean. He generously gave me his time and wisdom.  I would sit at his feet and learn. The problem was I wasn’t really listening. I only listened for the things that confirmed what I was already thinking and dismissed the things that challenged my thinking.

Before there was Awakening Church, there was Awakening ministry. It was a college and young adult’s ministry of Westgate Church. I remember Ken telling me that I needed to stop our evening services for at least 2-3 months so that we could restart something new. This would’ve given us the space and time to thoughtfully launch our new church. As well as, it would have marked the ending of a sweet season for those who journeyed with us in Awakening ministry.

Oh that I wish that I had taken his advice. It would have saved us so much pain and heartache. Instead, we limped along as a church those first couple of years even though we had a crowd showing up.

  1. Have the courage to have the necessary conversations.

My wife thinks I like confrontation. It may be because I’m a fairly blunt person. But the truth is, I hate it. I do my best to avoid it. Looking back I realized I wanted to be liked or thought of well more than having the tough conversation. I had a tendency of avoiding necessary conversation and hoping things would get better on there own. They often get worse, not better.  I now realize that my aversion to the necessary conversation was actually limiting my leadership and others development.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Ephesians 4v15

  1. Lead from your knees, not from your own strength.

There is something about the crucible of pain, especially self-inflicted pain that moves good ideas to a conviction for life. When we started Awakening I liked the idea of leading from my knees. It sounds good. It’s what a pastor should say.

Truth be told, in the first two years, I didn’t come close to leading from my knees. I led out of my own strength and energy. I thought if I worked harder, smarter and more hours then we would be “successful.” Sure I would pray but only to check in with Him to bless my agenda and plans. It took the toughest year of ministry I’ve ever experience for this to become a soul shaping conviction.

Today, as a staff we take 30 minutes out every work day to stop and seek the heart of God. Not because we have to but because we need to.

  1. Do what only you can do and give the rest away.

I have a really hard time asking for help. My mode of operation often has been if I can do it then I should do it. I never realized until recently how much that actually held back our church. In the early days, I was apart of everything. Setting up chairs. Sound system. Lights. Café. Tearing down. Organizing our trucks. We have great people serving but I felt guilty not being there. How could I focus on the one thing that only I could do, preach a great message, while people were sweating to setup for Sunday service.

Unfortunately, this communicated to our amazing teams that I didn’t trust them. It also kept me from bringing my best contribution to our church. As a result I taught mediocre messages, I didn’t keep the vision white hot in front of us and I was too overwhelmed to raise up and develop key leaders.

Part of growing and learning is making mistakes. It is part of the process. We all have things we wish we could go back and do all over again.

The key is to learn from the pain of our past and apply the lessons we learned.

“Though you cannot go back and have a brand new start. You can start now and have a brand new end.”

– John Maxwell

 

 

The question that is changing my life

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With my kids I’m famous.

Right now they think dad can do anything and everything and everything that dad does is the best. During the Olympics, my youngest son asked if I would go to the Olympics and win a gold medal. I realize this season will not last much longer. Soon it won’t be that everything dad does is the best but dad you don’t know anything. Dad you are embarrassing me. And dad why are you such a bad dancer?

I’m at the halfway point of my kids in the house. And as a result I’ve begun to wrestle with an old question in a new way. I believe what Michael Hyatt said is true, “Our lives are shaped by the questions we ask.” This question is certainly shaping my life and parenting in a fresh and powerful way.   In the midst of all the noise, distractions and demands this questions has brought incredible clarity.

It was on a trip with my daughter that I began to wrestle with this question.

This past year I took my daughter on a trip to Mexico.  We visited an orphanage called Rancho De Sus Ninos. Ever since my daughter was very little she has had a heart for orphans. She would talk about, cry for and pray for kids without a mommy or daddy. So I reached out to my friends who run an orphanage and we booked our flight.

Honestly, I was incredibly nervous and anxious about taking my little girl to Mexico. So many things could go wrong. In the weeks before the trip I began to obsess over them.

Was this really the wisest thing to do?

What if the drug cartel kidnaps us?

What happens if there’s a medical emergency?

I was losing sleep.

One of my goals as a dad is to take my kids on a trip when they turn ten that would expand their view of who God is, grow their faith and foster the passions God has placed in them. But now that was being put to the test.

It is one thing to trust God for yourself.

It is a whole other thing to trust Him with your kids.

I think sometimes in our effort to protect our kids we can unintentionally pass on a faith that isn’t very compelling, attractive, or captivating.   We say we believe in God but our kids never see us believe God for anything. We say put your faith in Jesus but then never step out into something that requires any faith.

And so we were off to Rancho De Sus Ninos for 2 packed days to visit the orphanage.

On the return flight home I sat safe and sound with my daughter who couldn’t stop talking all about our trip.   She excitedly recounted every part of our trip; playing with the kids at the orphanage, sharing Jesus one night in a very poor neighborhood, playing soccer with a crew kids in the street and of course the amazing taco stand.

I couldn’t help but sit back in my seat and really ask:

What do I want to be known for as a dad?

What do I want to make sure I pass on to my kids?

When my kids talk about me as adults, what do I hope they will be talking about?

How do I want to be remembered?

On this trip Ella got a glimpse of who God is and how He is working. And on this trip I got a glimpse of who God made me to be as a dad and what he was calling me to do.

In the hurry and hustle of life we get caught up with a list of demands and to do’s. Life has an unrelenting way of continually coming at us.   Like waves in the oceans, one after another. Sometimes it feels like you barely have a chance to get your head above water.

And rarely do we stop long enough to truly ask the question,

What do I want to be known for?

You are going to be famous for something by the closest someone’s in your life.

What do you want to be remembered for you?

Busy. Successful. Tired. Irritable. Kind. Present. Anal. Unpredictable. Fun. Loving. Absent.

This is the legacy we leave behind. And what’s remarkable is we get to determine what we are known for. The decisions we make and the responses we have determine what we’ll be remembered for.

So, what do you really want to be known for?

 

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.  We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

 1 Thessalonians 1v2-3

 

The one thing I want my kids to learn.

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A few weeks ago we were away as a family in Santa Barbara.

Santa Barbara has some of the most incredible restaurants and shopping around. People travel from all over the world to visit this scenic beach town.  And you cannot visit Santa Barbara without taking a stroll on the main strip, State Street.

My son and I were walking up State Street passing people carrying their high end shopping bags, looking picture perfect for their day out. And all of a sudden right in the middle of the sidewalk laid a homeless man, motionless, completely sprawled out. Just a few feet away, also in the middle of the sidewalk, sat his wheelchair.

If you took a closer look you would notice he was missing one of his legs, his pants partially pulled down revealed a badly used diaper and an odor emanated from him that was revolting.

It was a jarring sight that stopped my son and I in our tracks.

As we tried to figure out what to do and how to help, I couldn’t help but notice that nobody seemed to notice this man in the middle of the sidewalk. It was as if he was invisible. People literally just walked around him, some even stepped over him to get to their shopping destination.

How does no one notice?

How could people just keep going?

Why doesn’t anybody do something?

Could it be that people were uncomfortable with what they saw and so they just walked by trying to ignore it?

Maybe they felt the way I felt, overwhelmed by the pain before them and completely unequipped to help. What did I have to offer? What I could I do to help? But even so, I can’t just stand by and do nothing.

Or is it worse than that, could it be that they were not uncomfortable at all, that they just did not care?

All I know is there in the middle of the sidewalk lay a human being that other human beings just passed by and stepped over. On the ground lay a person made in the image of God. One who is deeply loved by God, who has intrinsic worth, yet stepped over like a worthless piece of trash.

Often times when we talk about our relationship with God it is completely disconnected from the grittiness life. It remains a spiritual exercise for the soul with no earthly impact around us. This was never how it was intended to be.

You were put here on this planet for more.

You put here on this planet for more than being upwardly mobile, retiring early, or achieving the American Dream. You were put on this planet to not only know God but to express his love to a hurting and broken world around you.

You were put on this planet to love those God puts in the middle of your path.

We have a God who loves with a reckless abandonment every person on this planet.

He is about bringing healing and wholeness.

He is about bringing beauty from ashes.

He is about bringing dead things back to life.

He’s about making us new.

He’s about restoration.

God is inviting us to be about what He is about.

The problem is we often feel exactly the way I felt when I came across the man in the middle of the sidewalk. “But I’m not equipped. I’m not trained.”

We often respond like Moses did before God at the burning bush. I think you have the wrong person. Isn’t there someone else? Why would you want to use me? I’m useless. I’m average. I’m broken. I’m not good enough. Maybe one day but not today.

 I love what Mother Teresa said,

“I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”

It is not so much the usefulness of the tool but it is the tool in the right hands that makes it useful. You are a Daughter or Son of the King most High. You have been given incredible gifts and talents by God to bring Him glory. You are an image bearer of the Creator of the universe. And when you give yourself fully to him he will skillfully use you in the way that He has made you.

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”    

[Galatians 5v14]

The more you were made for is to love others the way Jesus loved you.

This is the one thing I want to teach my kids.  The is the one thing I want them to learn and live out.   They were put on this planet for more than they could ever imagine and God wants to use them greater than they could ever dream.  We step into the more we were made for when we love those God brings along our path.  It is as simple and as difficult as that.

What does it look like for you to love those God puts in the middle of your path today?